Tips for Conflict Resolution at the Disney Parks
This week I will cover conflict resolution at Disney (and really for any travel.) On this last trip, the twins had a huge fight, and it happened right when we were about to board Mickey and Minnie Runaway Railway. It was our 2nd full day at the parks, and we were all exhausted. Our twin daughter meant to push her brother and ended up pushing him in the face, making his nose bleed and causing tears.
My instant reaction would have been to get upset with her and possibly react. But I understand they are exhausted and worn from the day. I FIRMLY explained how her behavior was unacceptable without yelling or belittling. I got down on her level and explained how she hurt her brother, that you needed to express herself with her words, and if there was still an issue, she needed to come to her dad and me, that we never act out with violence. My husband tended to our son, and we all got on the ride.
The words I said sank in. When we got off the ride, she was racing to apologize to her brother for her behavior. And to my surprise, her brother also apologized for teasing her to annoyance.
It's really easy for us to react because we are also tired and exhausted and want our magical vacation too. But that apology gave me one of the most magical moments. And they were glued to each other for the rest of the night.
But sometimes our reaction makes the situation worst. As adults, we model appropriate behavior. If we blow up at our kids, it teaches them it's okay to react the same way if they face the same situation. It's important as guardians and parents that we check ourselves before we respond, and if you want to go deeper, we need to check why we react a certain way. Sometimes that helps us keep our cool at the moment.
I am not a perfect mom; sometimes, I am at the end of my rope. But then I reassess that maybe my needs are not being met, which is why I am reacting that way. So often, when I change my reaction to a calmer but firm response, my kids change their behavior quickly. My husband and I also have an agreement because he KNOWS he reacts, that I say his name if I feel the reaction is too big, especially on vacation.
So here are some tips if your kids are fighting at the parks:
Before you react, take a breath. You don't want to add fuel to the fire or have two melting-down kids because you responded harshly due to your exhaustion.
Get down to their level and address the issue. Bad behavior should not be tolerated, even on vacation.
Give them alternatives for how they could have reacted that way next time they know they have other options.
Give them breathing exercises or other techniques to calm down when they are angry (also, as parents, make sure you are not ignoring the cue that maybe it's time to wrap up the park day.)
Take a midday break or TAKE A REST DAY. We all need to recharge, make sure you are not ignoring those cues.
We are all human, and it's not perfect every time, but remember that Disney's exhaustion is unlike any other, and have a magical trip with your family.
