This is 38…

This is 38. I am in the throws of balancing motherhood, career, kids, marriage, and finances. I am overstimulated, overwhelmed, and overbooked. I have my feet firmly rooted on the ground, but at the same time, I have no clue where life is taking me. I am 38 and feel like I am just beginning my real life.

I am not the doe-eyed 28-year-old new mom. I am seasoned, stretched, and grateful, and I am okay with knowing I don't have all the answers. I am done having children. My heart and hands are too full. And even though there are days when I think this is too much, I know that I would not change a thing in my chaotic household. I am eternally grateful for what God has given me, no matter the tears and years it took to get here.

I am not head over heels in love with my husband; I don't waste my time on fairytales. Instead, I am grounded in the deep love of an imperfect marriage. I understand now why they say marriage is daily work, a daily choice, to choose each other over and over again. I secretly chuckle at the girl I was 10 years ago when I could not imagine a marriage not filled with only hearts and butterflies. I realize it is easy to love someone, but liking someone is a different thing. I am one of the lucky ones. I love and also like my husband, and remember that every time we get 10 minutes alone without chaos.

I love my girlfriends; I now have numerous deep friendships over 25 years old, from preschool to college and into adulthood. I root for the women in my life and love them deeply. I fully understand the value of multigenerational friendship, the women who guide me, those who went before me, and those who keep me young. I prioritized keeping my village despite being spread thousands of miles apart because I know life is too hard to do it alone.

I love my parents, and so many friends are starting to lose theirs; I talk to them daily, even when they drive me crazy. I understand how much they were growing up as they were raising me. I realize more that my mom is sweet and kind, and I wish I were more like her because her heart is so pure. My dad is loud and chaotic, and I feel like his mirror. I learned from his business mistakes, inherited his sense of hustle, and credit him for my entrepreneurial spirit.

I have learned it's a blessing to have siblings but a BIGGER blessing if your siblings are also your friends. I only realize now that the combination of the two is so extremely rare, and I will never take my friendship with my siblings for granted.

I have 3 degrees and don't use a single one of them. I chose a life of balance, peace, and making money. And sometimes, that means working a job to provide the life you want because peace of mind over accolades is worth that. You realize you don't have to be trapped in a box just because you tell yourself this is your box. JOY can be created outside of work. I've moved from therapist to land acquisition to Cookie, Sign, and Disney Lady.

Health is wealth - and I can't eat half a pizza anymore, and that's okay. I can't have ice cream, not because I care about my weight but because having dairy is a nightmare for my stomach. I have accepted that for my body to stay healthy, I need sleep, movement, and to fuel my body with the food it needs versus what I want.

My relationship with God is not rooted in how many Bible studies I attend or being in a church every Sunday. But it is deeply personal, rooted in faith, and not for show.

In the words of the great Maya Angelou, when people show you who they are, believe them—the first time. I have learned that people will show up if they want to be there for you. Not because you make them, but because it's important to them. Don't waste your time showing up for people who will not show up for you.

Most of all, I have learned how much I like and love myself. I don't strive to be perfect; there is so much dishonesty in perfection. I don't care how much my body has changed as long as my heart has not. I am not the glitzy Dallas girl I once was; I traded in my Lexus for a Minivan and my Louis Vuitton for a Disney Fanny pack. I still love the occasional luxury, but honestly, I would rather be at Disney. Because at 38, frankly, I just don't give a shit. I no longer avoid confrontation because dwelling on issues does not serve anyone. Instead, I say exactly how I feel when I feel, but always with kindness.

I got the best advice at my business school graduation and have lived by it for 18 years. "You can have it all, just not at the same time." I can't be the best mom, wife, blogger, baker, cook, or employee simultaneously, and that's okay. Because right now, I have my health, kids, husband, and a wonderfully chaotic life, which is enough for me. They used to say 38 was mid-life, but I feel I am just starting.

Click here to read the original “This is 28.” We hope you make is back in December 2024 for the Launch of The Well Hello Sister Podcast”